A New Year, Same Old Goals :)

Trying to post more regularly is a theme of mine. Sometimes it works and I'm good at it, others it just doesn't happen. For months at a time. Friends of mine have family members who egg them on for more posts, can't get enough. My own mom often can't even log into her account and my dad never checks here. I don't hear from anyone else, so who knows! It's just a few friends who love to read up when then can and for you, I post.

My newest adventure has been in babysitters. Not babysitting, as many of you know I have done to keep things afloat since I got pregnant with T, but in actually getting sitters. Today I wondered if it was worth it as I gave the sitter exactly the same amount I was making (after paying her). But, it's good for T to have a different playmate, and it's all in the hopes of finding a day care for him one day a week. I wasn't necessarily going to put him into any structured environment until he hit 3, ready for preschool, but this new cleaning job came up and I just couldn't say no at this stage.

So, we're here, and I suddenly find that I feel like a grown up. Is that weird? I mean, my kid is two, I'm over thirty, we own a house and have been married for 5 1/2 years. But hiring a babysitter for my son while I go work is what makes me feel grown up. Not in an "I'm proud of myself" kind of way, it just has that effect. Like, suddenly I crossed into a new realm of mommy hood and it's really ok to not be the main influence on my child anymore. I guess I still am, and will be until he really takes to having peers, but I gave up that position in a way.

I have also come to realize something else. I don't care who thinks I'm nuts, but I've always wanted my children to be really close in age, much less than 2 years apart. Andy didn't feel the same way, so it was a bit longer before I even convinced him it was really ok to start trying. Well, I've realized my fears of not conceiving right away, or even the subsequent months after. Still waiting for the day we can say number two is coming, I look at my 2 year old boy and think "Wow, by the time the next one comes, he'll be close to or at 3 years old. And he'll be potty trained or close to it, and I'll have to get back into diapers. And lose sleep, when my boy has been sleeping through the night for a long time now. And get all crazy, when I really just rediscovered myself as a separate person, probably around the same time he did. Now I truly understand why I have always wanted my kids to be close together. But that's not what happened, and I have to find the grace and the gratefulness in the way things are."

But it still makes me want to cry.

On the other hand, I've been reading a book that I feel is somewhat cheesy, as in the exclamation point is way overused (did anyone even proofread this?) but just in that statement alone I'm undoing some of the work I've been doing with this book. The sequel to 'the Secret', "The Power" by Rhonda Byrne, is what is helping me realign my thoughts from a negative pattern to a more positive one - working with the power of the law of attraction. What I want must be what I love - and what I don't want shouldn't be thought or spoken of...

I've been finding new ways to look at the world, and it's really bringing me back to where I was in my early twenties - more carefree, more open, less worried and much more focused. I have lost so much of my true self through the years, allowing one experience to dictate my feelings on the next. It's a snowball effect, but I feel I must have hit a plateau. A study I read a little about helped to change my view first, which allowed this book to work a little more. This study said that in observing the human brain, it was found that thoughts create different neurological pathways, and a person will automatically start to go into certain thought processes if a pathway has been set. So, if one constantly thinks negatively, the brain is programed to go into those negative paths as soon as a new thought enters. The fun fact is that with persistence, these pathways can be changed. By taking time each day to think positively, the negative pathways will eventually be erased and the positive ones take precedence. What beauty's in that!

"The Power" also brings out the notion that life is not circumstance, but whatever you give out, you get back. It's really true, and has been spoken of all over in many different cultures, but the simplicity of it is likely what makes most people turn away. Which will make what you love turn away. By giving the love you have to those people and ideas you honestly love you are starting the path. It's tricky once you begin to find ways to change each negative word or thought into a positive one.

So, giving half my pay today to someone to watch my son? I love that he has a new person to play with. I love that he warmed up to her within 3 minutes, not the usual 10-15 it takes him. I love that she didn't mind my house is a bit messy. I love that she can drive herself here and home. And I love that I had a little bit of freedom to go outside my house without remembering everything my boy needs as we walk out the door.

Ask Momma Wednesday #7

I find it hard to believe that the last time I posted was for LAST week's Ask Momma Wednesday...but ok, here goes!

My question is also about money (see Nomie's post). Health insurance - When I had our son, I was working full time and had my own insurance, which had fantastic coverage. We didn't pay a dime for the actual care or delivery. Once that business closed, and I became self employed, i went on my husband's insurance. Right from the get-go, it was WAY more expensive and covered less! Now we're thinking of #2, and the rates have gone up once again, leaving us with a tough decision. I can't get insurance elsewhere, I've looked & searched & tried. So, we've decided to go for a high deductible plan for the birthing year because the overall costs will be less...but my question is how to save for the upfront costs? We have enough trouble month to month getting by as it is, I don't know how do deal with this new loop.

What ways do you cut back on expenses or save on current ones?

Ask Momma Wednesday #6

It's that time of the week again! Welcome to all of you who are checking out my blog!

Here's the button link: (please go check Nomie's page for details)



And here's my question: How much juice do/did you allow your toddler to drink?

I try to limit it, especially after this summer's scare of lead in many popular juices (organic & non organic). Being as my boy's fave wasn't on the list, I ended up getting some again at some point and we're back in the rotation of having juice each day. I don't give it to him straight, he has it watered down, and he definitely tends to drink more when there's even the slightest flavor in his cup. At his 18 month appt in june, we saw a different doctor, who wrote juice up as a "stupid thing parents give their kids to fatten them up", which is not at all my point, but it made me feel awful! What do you parents of toddlers do with juice, and if your kids are older, what did you do when they were little?

Thanks as always!

One Lovely Blog award

I received the One Lovely Blog award from Life of this SAHM Thank you Tracy!



On to the rules for accepting this award...


1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pay it forward to 15 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.

So, onward!

1. Nomies 3 Monsters

2. Only the Curious

3. Bird in a Tree Creations

4. Forever and Yesterday

5. humboldt cherry

6. Mommy Katie

7. Randomness of a Cloth Diaper Addict

8. Simply Bug

9. Mommy Made Green

10. Lolly Jane Boutique

11. Eclectic Effervescence

12. This Beach Town Family

13. Traci66

14. Sueberry Lane

15. Take it From Me

Ask Momma Wednesday #5

Please go check out Nomie's 3 Monsters for the details of this hop!

Ok, so here is my third week of this hop - and I'm honestly having trouble finding a question! But here we go:

We're trying for number two now - and while I'm extremely excited and ready to be pregnant again (not yet, just looking toward the future), I'm also nervous about how to handle a toddler while going through the possible sickness I went through with him. Just as a bit of background, I was sick for 24 weeks, as in the all day/all night kind of sick. My middle of the night bathroom trips were double duty pee/puke.

Now that I've got your attention, for those of you who have 2 kids or more, and experienced any kind of sickness though pregnancy, how did you deal with the subsequent pregnancies while caring for a little one???

Reiki giveaway!

Well! Now that I've reached & surpassed the 25 followers I asked for earlier this summer, it's time to start the Reiki giveaway!

What is Reiki? You can check my earlier post here to see a little bit. As I have noted on that post, even if you aren't near me you can still enter, as Reiki works regardless of time & space. If you live in the Catskill mountain region and are willing/able to travel to Woodstock, the winner will receive a free one hour Reiki session with me at Woodstock Integrative Health. If you are not able to come to Woodstock, the winner will receive 4 fifteen minute distance sessions, scheduled between us ahead of time. Winner must be 18 or older and will be chosen at random.

To enter: just follow me and leave a comment below that you do follow - be sure to leave your email if it's not easy to find in your blogger account.

Extra entries? (1 entry per comment)

~ spread the word! tell your friends via facebook, blog, etc. and leave the link in a comment.

~ send a friend directly & have them say you sent them in a comment.

~ comment on another post in this blog.

~ grab my button & place it on your blog. leave the link in a comment. :)


This giveaway will run until September 25th at 11:59pm.

Thanks!!!

Greenish Me Mama

Frustrated at the fact I needed to use mama cloth this month, I quickly realized I didn't even have enough to get through the first few days without washing laundry every day as I have in the past. So, I sat down and created a couple of patterns and voila! I'm so happy with what I've made! Definitely going to get these up on etsy, though I know there is an abundance of mama cloth out there already. Can't help it!